Wednesday’s Message from Mrs Fearns


Some of you have said the behaviour of the children is becoming difficult and you need some help.

I am going to share some of a teacher’s magic to try and help you!

Some of our secret tips for you:

Children very quickly work out your weak points and when they want to they will push your buttons to get a reaction and they do not care if it is a negative one or a positive one – so they will push and push until you react.

The trick to behaviour management is the control you as the adult have over your reaction to having your buttons pushed or your patience running out. It is a natural human reaction to shout & scream but that is not the reaction that will bring calm to the household.

Children react as mirrors whatever your behaviour is they will reflect it back to you. If you shout and scream they will do the same. So the trick for today is to control your own feelings and reactions. The louder and more they shout and go on, your job is to make your reaction calmer and calmer and your voice quieter and quieter, at some point they will not be able to hear you and so they will start to strain to hear what you are saying and eventually this will calm the situation.

If your child is really high with emotion then give an assertive message such as “I know you’re really upset about…… right now. I’m going to leave you now for a few minutes, when I come back we will talk about it”. Then leave the room for 5 minutes and return calmly, sit down so you are at their level and calmly talk. If they are still elevated then repeat the process.

Give this a go – you need to stick to it, don’t give in to temptation to react – focus on your reactions NOT the child’s, think about what you are doing. Calm yourself (even if you are raging inside) use a calm voice, walk away for a few minutes if either you or your child need a breathing space before dealing with the situation.

Behaviour management takes time to get control it will not be instant, be patient with yourself.

Good luck.

Mrs Fearns